Duh Duh Happy Birthday

(Gus Gus.... Anybody? I'm hoping there are enough Cinderella fans out there that I don't have to explain the title.)

Anyhow,
Happy Birthday Joe!
I love you so much.

Joe's birthday was Monday and it was an exciting day. I made him a double chocolate cake with stripes that alternated between German Chocolate and Chocolate Fudge cake. (If you look closely you can see what Joe's birthday hairstyle was this year... He needs a haircut so badly! He decided he was going to part his hair on the side of his head and grease the rest of it over. Ummm.... yeah.)

As always, we celebrated his big day with his grandpa who shares the same birthday. Joe admires his grandpa a ton and would not want to spend his birthday any other way. This year they turned 110!
Which meant that the cake had to be pretty big so that we didn't end up with a massive wax bonfire.

This next picture is amazing to me. I never really noticed a resemblance between Joe and his Grandpa until THIS picture:

Click on it to blow it up if you have to but their faces are identical! I don't know anyone else in the world that blows out candles the way these two do. It was meant to be that they share a birthday.

After the candles were blown out we started in on the next tradition... spending the next 15 minutes picking wax off the frosting.

It was a great night. Joe got a ton of awesome gifts and ... thoughtful (?) cards. (You'd understand the question mark if you had been there.)

It's kind of weird to be celebrating another birthday, another anniversary, another Thanksgiving. Time just does not slow down anymore. I'll probably have a heart attack when Jay turns two. Speaking of Jay.. look how cute he is helping his Daddy brush his teeth.

Cutest. Boy. Ever.

I am so blessed. Joe and Jay truly are the best things that have ever happened to me. They both make me laugh daily. I mean what guy do you know that decides he should have a "special hairstyle" on his birthday and then actually goes out into public that way?! (Don't worry he didn't go to work that way! He's not that brave.) I don't understand him AT ALL but I love every minute of confusion and delightful mystery that I'm allowed to spend with him. I wouldn't trade him for anything.

Will Power

I have none.

Looks like my goal of donating my hair is another year away... or two.. or three. I just can't do it. I see someone with a cute haircut and I run for my scissors. I am weak.

It actually scared me a bit this time because I don't think I thought enough about it before I cut it. After I made the first cut I thought, "Stacy!!! You haven't cut your own hair in over two years! What are you thinking?" Then I used my new found knowledge of positive thinking to tell myself that I was the best hairstylist in the world. And then I told myself that I was Tyra Banks and took this picture.... and then I told myself that people really will want to take time out of their day to read about my hair and I posted this post.

Another Day

"Believe in yourself. Believe in your capacity to do great and good things. Believe that no mountain is so high that you cannot climb it. Believe that no storm is so great that you cannot weather it. You are not destined to be a scrub. You are a child of God, of infinite capacity.

Believe that you can do it--whatever it is that you set your heart on. Opportunities will unfold and open before you. The skies will clear when they have been dark with portent."
-Gordon B. Hinckley

(I took that picture of Jay this morning and for some reason it really inspired me. He teaches me so much everyday. And the quote was from a book that a friend gave me when Jay was born. I randomly picked it up this morning just looking for some inspiration. Ironically it's called "One Bright Shining Hope"... Well as ironic as anything can be with the spirit involved.)

And this is for those who have reached out to me lately:

"Reach out to help one another. All of us need help from time to time. We need encouragement. We need friends who will stand by us through thick and thin. I ask each of you to be that kind of friend."
-Gordon B. Hinckley

Thank you.

Little Things

One of the greatest things about Jay is his ability to get excited over anything. I thought I'd share a few moments from his morning that made me smile.

Pine cones and sticks. Christmas will be easy this year.

Raw

This is how I feel today. Humbled by life. It's hard to express myself when I feel this way because I have this annoying habit of pretending I'm fine. Pretending to be strong. I care too much about what people think I guess. Even as I'm writing this I'm totally uncomfortable. Heaven forbid I admit that life is hard.

You know that analogy about the jagged rock in the river? The rock is eventually smoothed by the rough water symbolizing how our own rough edges are smoothed by our trials. Well I kind of feel like my river is next to a steep rocky mountain and a huge boulder just rolled down and gouged a chunk out of the side of my rock. Totally not my fault, I know. And now it's going to take years of rapids and banging into other broken rocks to fix me.

Or to put it another way.... Have you heard of the "Stairmaster of Life"? Good, cuz I'm making this stuff up.. Anyhow there's the "Stairmaster of Life" and there's the "Bed of Life". The "Stairmaster of Life" is what we're supposed to be doing--trudging along, day after day, making small steps over and over and over. Sometimes it feels mundane and futile but it makes us stronger and happier. (I would have made the "Stairmaster" a "Mountain" but I think in the end it's less about where we are in our climb and more about what we have become.) And then there is the "Bed"... well this is obvious... comfort, complacency, bla, bla, bla. My problem is this: I'm on the "Stairmaster" staring longingly at the "Bed of Life", wanting to jump in, pull the covers over my head, and wait for the "Stairmaster" to become an ice cream sundae.

I hope I've made myself completely clear.

My point: I'm struggling with the idea of hope. I always have in fact. It seems to me that life happens the way it's supposed to regardless of how I feel about it. More often than not, when I do let myself hope for anything, I'm disappointed. So I've become a live-in-the-moment type of person that just lets life happen to her and expects very little, rejoicing in the good, and shrugging my shoulders at the tough stuff. Sure I set goals and work to achieve them... I'm all about self-improvement, but when it comes to the things that I can't control I've become a bit of a cynic.

I KNOW I'm not alone in this. Life has taught me that much. So what do I do about it? Isn't hope kind of a commandment? I'll take any suggestions, quotes, Ensign articles, even preachy judgments. I'm just that desperate.

Sunday Bath

Jay loves baths now. Today's was especially fun:
He spiked his hair,

found his ears,

played with duckies, drank bath water, (eww.)

and tried to climb out a few times...which could have been awkward if Mommy didn't mess with a few settings on the camera.

"How embarrassing!"

A Word to the Wise

With all the buzz and hysteria over the swine flu it's hard to know whether or not to go see a doctor when you are sick. When I first started feeling sick at the beginning of this week, I called my doctor hoping to get some Tamiflu. No dice. I was told that not only could I not get Tamiflu but that I basically should just stay home, drink a ton of water, and wait it out. So that's what I was doing and I was getting sicker and sicker. I had the worst soar throat of my entire life. Talking, swallowing, eating... BREATHING hurt. Finally, after I showed Joe my throat and he jumped back saying, "HOLY COW!" with a look of horror on his face, I decided that I better go to the doctor. (Admittedly, I probably should have figured that out a day or two earlier because my whole throat was white and bleeding.) So I went to the doctor yesterday and guess what... I have Strep! The doctor reacted about the same as Joe did when she saw my throat and she gave me Hydrocodone for the pain. I was pretty excited to finally be able to sleep and I actually feel better already with the other medicine they gave me too.

So the moral of my story is this: GO TO THE DOCTOR!! And be careful because obviously Strep is out there too. The End.

Jay's Words

Jay talks... ...a lot.
Most of the time he makes no sense at all but he really does look like he's having a conversation with you. He even looks at you like it's your turn to talk or answer his question. I always want to answer him but I don't know what to say.

Anyhow, he does say a lot of words that do make sense and I don't want to forget what a smart boy I have. He says:

Mommy
Daddy
Grandma (Mama)
Grandpa (Papa)
More (Mo)
Bye
Eye
Ear (Ea)
Nose (No)
Belly Button (Bayee Button)
Banana (Nana)

Apple (Aaapa)
Bottle (Baba)
Elmo (Emmo)
Oscar (Okka)
Tiger
Ball
Baby
Jesus (Ssssus)

He has said a lot of other things very clearly but only once (Thank You, Katie, Big Bird etc.) and he'll repeat you but has no idea what you're talking about. These words are things he understands and says daily. He's such a fun and smart little kid... FULL of personality and funny faces. (I love his snotty graham cracker face)
Just yesterday he busted out some dance moves for my mom and I that looked completely real. We both just died laughing (which really hurt my throat). He's got moves. Cute boy.

(Oh and he finally broke 20 pounds! At his last appointment he was 20.25 lbs. Woohoo!)

As Promised...

Here are the costume pictures of Jay I said I would post.
These are all the Utah cousins: The coolest thing about this picture is that all of the costumes are homemade except two. I'm not talented in the area of sewing, so poor Jay was a $10 lion from Walmart. Amy's youngest, John, was also in a store bought costume so I didn't feel too bad. But my sister and sister-in-law are so creative. Michael and Zack were tarantulas! Check it out:

So cool! (And yes Amy, I picked the one picture of Michael that had Jay in it too! Just kidding.)

And here are the two lions:

Cute no? I love Halloween!

"Bob"

Unfortunately, I'm not talking about "Bob" the builder, the retired game show host, the musician, or the hairstyle... I'm talking about what I call my mommy when I'm too sick to function. And I did call her. And she came. And took Jay. And exposed herself to the flu. And gave me a break today. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. You're the best Bob ever!

"Elbow"

Unfortunately, I'm not talking about "Elbow" the body part... I'm talking about what a toddler calls his red furry friend when he's got a stuffy nose. Apparently, Elmo's sick and needs some medicine too.

And this is Jay's sick face. Adorable and miserable. Joe and I are sick too, which is kinda crumby considering it's our Anniversary today. We didn't have much of a celebration, but we still rented a movie and ate some Panda.

Halloween was pretty low key as well. We were in Utah this weekend for my brother's baby's blessing. Jay was a lion. As soon as I get pictures from my mom's camera I'll post one. It was great to be with family, eat doughnuts, and drink homemade root beer. Thanks Jim and Jen!

The drive was a bit long though for Jay. He kept himself busy by reading an Elmo book... Upside down.

Oh yeah and by watching the same Elmo video 7 times. I know it by heart.