What's New...

Jay has been feeling great lately. I'm still not completely over his latest "incident" but he seems to be back to normal already (even with all the benadryl and steroids). I don't know if it's the whole "near death" thing or not but he's just extra cute this week.

It could be his new over-sized construction boots paired with his skin tight PJs. Or how he plays with his Daddy... ...a.k.a. the pajama monster!Then there is the adorable way he says "ba" (bye) and waves his little hand. He does that every time I put him down for a nap, followed by putting his hand to his mouth and saying "ma" as he blows me a kiss.

Oh and I can't forget his newly acquired flying skills.

He's just so cute.

I'm doing okay too. I float between being grateful he's alive and being scared out of my mind that his allergy is still so severe. I'm trying not to dwell on all the implications of him not growing out of this anytime soon. But it's hard. How will we ever go camping? How will I ever let him have a sleepover? How can I ever put him in nursery? Take him anywhere that is more than ten minutes from a hospital? Kindergarten?!? Home School is looking better and better to me. I'm hoping that he'll skate through life on his good looks and no one will ever notice his lack of social skills. He needs another child with food allergies to be his friend. I need another mother that is just as paranoid as I am to be my friend.

Oh and I need to write this down because it's just too funny to forget: When we first got to the E.R. on Saturday, the doctor came in to see Jay. One of the first things he said was, "Now is this part of the reaction or are his lips always that big?" I smiled and proudly said that was normal.

Deja Vu

It's 12:45 a.m. We just got back from the E.R. with Jay again. I put him down to sleep but I'm supposed to keep an eye on him for the next hour or so. Joe is at Walgreen's picking up three prescriptions that we have to give Jay for the next couple days... including Benadryl, Zantac, steroids of some kind, and the doctor threw in a pass for some new Epi-pens. Unfortunately, I had to use one and now we need more.

Apparently, dog bones are a no-no. We were over visiting Joe's parents, who have a dog, and Jay thought he'd try out one of her bones. He stuck it in his mouth and spit it right back out. We weren't sure if the bone had milk in it and we couldn't find the package to check the ingredients. A few minutes later his voice got hoarse so I gave him some benadryl. Almost immediately after, he threw up all over me and it was downhill from there. Joe ran into the other room and brought me back Jay's epi-pen. And I stabbed him. I think that traumatized Jay for life. I honestly don't even remember what I was thinking at that point. We jumped in the car and Joe drove twice the speed limit and ran every red light. Jay was gagging and wheezing the whole way. Joe called 911 to let them know we were coming and they told him that he couldn't break the law (speeding) to get Jay to the ER. He told them that he honestly didn't care if he broke the law. That ended the conversation. It was much more laid back at the ER this time because Jay didn't look nearly as bad when we brought him in. They still got us right back into a room and were fairly attentive to him. It took a long time for his reaction to clear up but he's fine now. Thank goodness for modern medicine.

It's scary. That's pretty much the only way to describe it. It didn't feel real and I wanted to cry but I held it together this time. The doctor gave Jay "Clifford" stickers... but I might take one for not crying.

Did I Mention I Love Fall?

My mom and I went to the greenbelt today to scout out some good family picture spots. The weather was great and Jay was in a good mood. I love this boy. The water was so perfectly still and reflected the colors beautifully. And Jay found a big stick.

Leaves... Sticks... This kid is easy to please.

Finally a Woman

Well, it's official. I'm 25. There's no turning back now. I still don't like the word, but ever since I was little I thought that once you hit 25 you became a "woman". I told Joe this and his immediate response was, "Well, what have I been married to up til now?" I just don't know.

(I'll post more about my birthday later... after I get over the awkwardness of the word woman.)

Falling in Love

...with FALL!!! Is it just me, or did it feel like winter already until today? I was about to prematurely crawl into my anti-winter hole and wait for spring. (I'm pretty much a wimp when it comes to cold weather. I don't enjoy it at all.) But today is AMAZING. It's warm and wonderful... and perfect for pictures. I just love the trees in front of my house this time of year. I let Jay run around for a few minutes before conning him into some portraits. I'm not looking forward to the day when Jay realizes a leaf is not a real bribe. Even with my clever trickery, he was not in a smiling mood. I did, however, earn this reaction for acting like Elmo and quacking like a duck: Other than that I ended up with mostly leaf interaction.... Jay's a leaf whisperer. It was so fun to get outside and play finally. We're pretty lucky to live in a place with so much room outside for Jay to explore. I really love this next picture of our shadows on the road to our house. It kind of sums up life for me right now. Me, my backpack, my camera, and Jay. If only I could have gotten Joe and my computer in there, it would have been complete. It probably sums up Jay's life too. I guess that's all part of having a camera obsessed Mom. Unfortunately, so is this next picture: I probably have more pictures like this than of him smiling. Poor kid. Does the government take your kids away for taking too many pictures of them?.. I hope not. They might get me for taking a picture of Jay running toward a busy street though. (Don't worry. He's still slow enough that I can catch him.) He was fascinated by that road and every time I turned around he took off. Here he is headed toward Amity screaming something about liberation: We're so proud... not so much about his suicide attempts but his language skills are taking off.

We also have a bunch of pumps around the yard from our well. I thought I'd see what Jay thought of the water. (He has a history of being terrified of moving water.) Here's a sequence of pictures that says it all...

First he's not so sure... Then he throws caution to the wind and sticks his hand in. He's loving it... Loving it.. And then...

..mmmm... not so much.

Fun day. I love Fall.

Facts

#1) I have a new addiction. Smores. But the embarrassing part is not that I've managed to eat five already today but that I make them in the microwave with chocolate chips instead of hershey's bars and miniature marshmallows. It's like buying cheesecake from a gas station. It's sick I know. Even more pathetic is that I spent a half an hour pondering the idea that using a microwave is suddenly less civilized than building a fire.

#2) I took Jay to the doctor last week for his weight check. (Remember how I had one month to fatten him up?) Well guess what.... HE LOST WEIGHT! He is now 4th percentile instead of 5th. (19.14 lbs. and 31" long) Great... now they think I'm a bad mom. I need a smore.

#3) We finally got Jay a new carseat! Front facing! Woohoo! No more lugging a heavy car seat in and out when Jay's asleep. Jay seems to like it. His first time in it was this morning and he just kept staring out the front windshield with no expression. When I pulled up to my bank's drive through window the teller asked if I wanted a sucker for Jay. I shook my head and she said nervously, "He just keeps staring at me," as if maybe that would make him stop.

#4) I got sick of having our new mattress in our living room and decided to move it all by myself.... Just to give you a visual: It's huge. King Size. 14'' Deep. It almost leveled me twice. I'm lucky to be alive. I hope you all have one of those "we almost lost her" moments of gratitude for me today. I know I will.

I Blame Joe for This

I have a wonderful son. I have a wonderful husband. It's when they are together...

In case you can't tell, Daddy taught him to scream like he's on fire or something. Let's just say our house is not exactly peaceful all the time.

By the way, Jay is on top of our new (used) bed that Joe just showed up with one night strapped to the top of his truck. It's comfy so I'm not complaining... except for the fact that it is still in our living room and I'm pretty sure how he got it home was illegal. (Not that he stole it or anything.)